That Curb-Couch Might Give You an STD…

Once in a while I troll the Creative Gigs listed on CraigslistNY.  Sometimes just for amusement, because, let’s face it – who wouldn’t want to spank a middle-aged white male for an hour each week for $100–$150 per session with a chance for permanent lucrativeness??  Sometimes, I really want to see what’s out there beyond the 9-5, 40-hrs-a-week quicksand pit of office-management and lemmings in shiny, metal boxes so many of us find ourselves stuck in these days.

So the other day, I answered a couple ads in Creative and got an almost immediate reply from Luke of CamJobs, “Talent Recruiter”.  Basically it’s a site that pulls from a database of sexy people who just “show off their bodies; no sex is involved”.  After sounding slightly annoyed and almost scolding in his tone in answer to my first question about tech requirements we proceeded with a friendly, informative conversation.

SNOTTYTALENTSCOUT: I got your message. The ad is very specific. You are a webcam. You need a laptop or PC Internet and a webcam.

I didn’t bother to ask what he meant by “you are a webcam” as I just figured he meant using one… Not like an acting workshop where you have to “BE the cheese!” in order to play one on TV.

The premise was, I would be “showing off” my body to a worldwide audience who pays for me to do “shows” for them.  Each time I tried to ask what was expected; like do I STRIP or do other sexual-themed “performances”? I was assured that it wasn’t a stripper-gig and that I didn’t even have to do anything like dancing. I would set my own rate and watch the money pour in.

SNOTTYTALENTSCOUT: Money is insane. Some girls are making 1000-2000 a week and more.

He’s starting to sell me…. So I stupidly send him some pics and tell him my age & measurements.

SNOTTYTALENTSCOUT: I am also looking for a partner to work with on my show. All depends on what you are comfortable with.

He offers to send me pics of himself.  So now it starts sounding creepy and sexual.  I politely try and give him the brush-off; thanks but no-thanks, all the best, I appreciate the info, etc.

It could have been my pics or maybe my age (significantly older than most “webcam gals”) or perhaps the slight hangups in texting send-time, but now he’s trying to give methe brush-off!

SNOTTYTALENTSCOUT: Not right for my show. You would def need a laptop to do this.

SNOTTYTALENTSCOUT: If you get everytnjng let me know.

SNOTTYTALENTSCOUT: All the best.

ME – Ok.

SNOTTYTALENTSCOUT: Most people that do webcam are 18-30. Sometimes older but they do couples. No disrespect. I’m a recruiter so I see a ton of people coming in

ME – No prob – it is what it is. Sometimes you just get to a point where your “real job” is making u go postal & u just want to do something fun & profitable. If you ever “expand” to models with tablets & Skype, let me know. 🙂

And then it gets sort of ugly; like I insulted his intelligence by mentioning Skype or whatever. Maybe that’s low-class in webcam world, to insinuate that they should “expand” to something so lowly(?).  I really have no clue.

SNOTTYTALENTSCOUT: Listen this isn’t my site I’m a TALENT RECRUITER  for it. It streams of a data base that host 100,000 models an over a million subscriprs. You can stream with multiple users on that network. You have lack of knowledge about the business. READ about what webcam girls do on their shows

So, being that for the second time you’ve emphasized to me that you are a high-and-mighty Talent Recruiter AND your attention to grammar and spelling has significantly diminished at the end of what started out as a polite and informative conversation with someone who answered YOUR ad on Craigslist, I figure it’s safe to assume that you are:

    • Suffering from an illogical ignorance about what kinds of creep-fest ads are posted on Craigslist and how to professionally handle a Q & A with a curious amateur whom you technically invited to apply with any questions.
    • Some stupid, boy-band-esque hipster snob who thinks a position at a technologically advanced webcam-girl site puts him in a position to sit above everyone else.
    • Kind of a dick since you now have 2 pics of ME & never sent me any of yourself.
    • Currently on fair warning that if I EVER see pics of myself floating around the internet, I KNOW people.

      You have been warned, hipster snot.

      You have been warned, hipster snot.

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About LVital7019

Just your normal, everyday 9-5er. An uninspiring position in an inspirational non-profit moves me to constant goof-offery; aimless, on-the-job procrastination; a crankiness that borders on psychosis; and attempting to craft something meaningful with words. Just another so-called-job inspiring someone to feats of insanity with a hint of creativity... (Insert demonic laugh HERE.) View all posts by LVital7019

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Tony Single

artist. wastrel. a quantum of potential.

The Greenwich Village Literary Review

A magazine by writers who love to write for readers who love to read.

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