Throwback Thursday – Dispatch Comix

This is probably where my office angst took off running.  Back in 1997 I was dispatching at a corporate black-car service based in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn. Back in those days, blogging & internet bullying were just twinkles in a Canadian programmer’s eye…

Priscilla joined our team fresh from the streets of Sunset Park, where the Latin Kings ruled; as she was so fond of reminding us. Of course, since she was a nobody coming from a tough neighborhood, she employed a technique for self-inflation that mainly included BS’ing her way through the evening at an attempt to solidify her ghettolicious, tough-girl facade.

With a solid reputation for calling in sick on the crazy-hectic main shift (from around 4-9PM every weeknight), her lame-ass excuses included, but were definitely not limited to:

  • Feats of super-human strength: Helping her boyfriend remove the roof to their home during a minor April shower where theirs was the only house almost washed away.
  • Displays of a Wolverine-like healing factor: Came in 1 day after claiming to have broken her foot. No bandage in sight. She limped her way in but NOT on her way out. Suspicious…
  • Spontaneous pregnancy: Her invisible “bump” materialized right after weeks of bitching that her boyfriend wouldn’t put a ring on it. Suddenly she’s wearing  loose-fitting shirts with the same-size pants as before. My partner-in-crime, N, dubbed it “Pillow” way before there ever was a Blanket Jackson.

Not only did she fake a pregnancy to keep that school bus-driving, roof-ripping man of hers, but her phantom miscarriage happened right before Spring Break so it was a convenient excuse to finally quit a job she clearly sucked at and go get Crunked-Up in Key West.

This Post-It was created during Main Shift as a gift to my dispatch-room comrades  – R, M and N.  🙂

PS – Don’t EVER tell Priscilla that you’re OUT of chicken pot pies.  Or SHE WILL CUT A BITCH…

If only he had put a ring on it...

I’M DOWN WITH C.P.P., YEAH, U KNOW ME!!! If only he put a ring on it instead of buying that big, yellow school bus…

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About LVital7019

Just your normal, everyday 9-5er. An uninspiring position in an inspirational non-profit moves me to constant goof-offery; aimless, on-the-job procrastination; a crankiness that borders on psychosis; and attempting to craft something meaningful with words. Just another so-called-job inspiring someone to feats of insanity with a hint of creativity... (Insert demonic laugh HERE.) View all posts by LVital7019

9 responses to “Throwback Thursday – Dispatch Comix

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Tony Single

artist. wastrel. a quantum of potential.

The Greenwich Village Literary Review

A magazine by writers who love to write for readers who love to read.

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