Promotionally Retarded

I am a promotional idiot – sticking it out on the simpleton shift chewing up ticky-tack specks of bone bowing loyal to the sweet, senile, blind… and monthly State Reports.  Which were temporary…

I am a promotional idiot – tongue-bitten bruised keeping silent all these years not for fear; NOT for fear of Beelzebitch’s plowing through our hut like an angry convoy – I compile and file; I crack jokes as my gift to her victims…

I am a promotional idiot – swallowing saccharin truths about this BITCH they chose ME to help. Feeding me cancerous SweeTarts reading “You’re Employed!” – professional limbo-flavored, tastes like promotional misery.

I am a promotional idiot – She can choke on her know-it-all glory. Let her send me away each time; maybe with something to copy.  Maybe with something to scan!  Maybe with another bitch story for my list… MAYBE with her sad tale of woe and emergency room visits and panic-attacks and stress-meds.  My fun for 5 whole seconds…

I am a promotional idiot – starving and choked on bleachy white dust… See her minions laugh and fall under her wing. They stink-eye me on command.  She’s a scam – today she’s from Toon-town; tomorrow from Lunaticville; she’s the Mayor of Backstab Alley… A liar, a thief, a hoarder of tasks, insubordinate, superior; but she’ll demand in a helium-soaked, loony-toon, Jar Jar Bitch voice. Can you HEAR IT!?? MAKE IT STOP!!!

I am a promotional idiot – keeping the peace along with my scrap of the “action”; they will GET my story when I BURN this bridge; when I find MY glory.  When I climb that ridge… which will be Jar Jar Bitch, buried under piles of grievance; under the TRUTH unabridged.

… But I’ll leave her the gift below nailed to the prefab wall of her VIP cubicle, so she can enjoy her “demotion” to the job that was supposed to be mine, doing the tasks I used to enjoy doing, with the raise she WASN’T SUPPOSED TO GET…  ONE MORE THING – WHO THE FUCK IS THIS BITCH BLOWING FOR 15 YEARS!?? 

– Please enjoy the semi-psychotic ideas that come to me inspired by this lunacy I spend 40+ hours a week “working” in.  I think it’s pretty spot-on – seriously, she really does talk like that (as an over-40 adult woman).  In italics is the note that will be written on the gift-tag:

Enjoy the poster I made you. It was totally worth the dollar-store frame:

JJB poster

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About LVital7019

Just your normal, everyday 9-5er. An uninspiring position in an inspirational non-profit moves me to constant goof-offery; aimless, on-the-job procrastination; a crankiness that borders on psychosis; and attempting to craft something meaningful with words. Just another so-called-job inspiring someone to feats of insanity with a hint of creativity... (Insert demonic laugh HERE.) View all posts by LVital7019

8 responses to “Promotionally Retarded

  • El Guapo

    Having worked in situations like that, please tell me you’re doing all you can to get out of there, whether somewhere else in the company, or out of it completely.
    Or at least getting her moved to a different area where you don’t have to deal with her…

    Like

    • LVital7019

      I’m also working on 5 cover letters to send to various employers in the area plus I uploaded my CV to the NYS DOL website. During company time… EFF that! LOL

      Like

      • El Guapo

        Hell yes!
        (I’d love to be a fly on the wall for your exit interview.)

        Like

      • LVital7019

        LOL I will definitely post about it, if and when it happens! Maybe I can endear myself to Food Services in the meantime so I can spit in JJB’s food… My friend said to send a letter to DOL but we’re not a State agency so they might not care too much. :/

        Like

  • LVital7019

    Thank you kindly for your support. 🙂 My plan is to set a precedent by asking either HR or our Adm. Manager if SOMEONE around here would consider switching with me. So far, our campus chef would take me in a heartbeat, but I don’t think I could swing the salary deal this BITCH got! Killer is, had I known one could get a raise for a full step down, I could’ve taken that job as Residents’ Clothing & Supplies Coordinator.

    Like

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