TBT: The “Pity” Christmas…

Scarier than coal in your stocking

Scarier than coal in your stocking

In my early days of employment at Current Job, I was taken protectively under the wing of Jar Jar Bitch.  Back then, I could still look her in the eye and NOT be the least bit tempted to put her in a choke-hold.  We all know by now how I was duped into falling for that “Mother Hen” bullshit and that if anyone ever repeatedly professes to be a mother-hen then they are most likely psychotic or full of shit, at the very least.

This particular year, my husband decided to go south for the Christmas holiday to be with his family. This is not something I normally enjoy so, although less than thrilled with his nonchalant decision to leave me behind, I chose to stay home with my son.

Jar Jar Bitch and I had already had our first falling out earlier that same year over my lending my services to another without benefit of her “permission”.  Her feathers were starting to drop, exposing ugly black bits of her control-freak facade.  Her nest was beginning to crack so I was surprised  when she decided to make herself my “Christmas miracle”.  Even weirder was that she was angrier about my husband’s departure than I was. So in true Mother-Hen fashion, she extended me an invitation to join her and her family for Christmas Dinner.

“Wow. That’s super nice of you.  Thanks.  I’ll definitely think about it, if that’s OK…”

Although wary, since I had recently seen the typhoon that rages Jar Jar Bitchiness, being completely overtaken by the holiday spell I went with kindness and gratitude.

“Ok. Just let me know what you decide” she said.

After emailing back and forth with my mother, who is around three and a half hours’ drive from me, Mom decided to invite me to come up and visit for Christmas.  I was urged to pack up my kid and my cat and drive on up to Cooperstown NY.  It felt good to be invited by my mother and stepfather for a change, since it’d been years since they held any holiday anything at their house.  They’ve never really been the holiday-hosting types…

Since it was pretty much decided, it seemed like a good time to let JJB know.

“I’m so grateful for your invitation, but it looks like I’ll probably be going up to my mother’s. She hasn’t seen her grandson in a while and she hasn’t had us over for the holidays in like forever, so…”

“Oh. That’s nice. You’re still more than welcome to join us – my family is very friendly”.

It seemed logical to leave it at that. Little did I know that more feathers were about to drop…

The Monday before Christmas, which was the upcoming weekend, JJB came to see me in my office.

“So, have you decided yet what you’re doing for Christmas?”

I’m sort of puzzled by this since I thought I made it clear that her invitation was trumped by actual family; as opposed to the “fill-in family” invitation from her. Not to sound bitchy or ungrateful, but wouldn’t you have assumed that I’d be going to my mother’s place?

“Oh – I thought I mentioned that my mother invited us up so we’ll be making the drive up to her place for the holidays. I’ll be back down before New Year’s so don’t worry about office coverage”.

“Well, you never let me know for sure what you were doing. It would have been nice of you to tell me one way or the other. I mean, I DID invite you over to spend it with my family enough in advance for you to tell me…”

I am always taken aback when someone, even inconsistent psycho-bitches like this one, get angry at me.  I mean, didn’t I let her know for sure when I TOLD HER that my MOTHER invited me over for CHRISTMAS??? WTF!?

Mom says 'hi' & she sent you this cardboard candy-cane...

Mom says ‘hi’ & she sent you this cardboard candy-cane…

Am I naive in thinking that the way it works is: You pity-invite me because my husband is elsewhere; I express gratitude and complement your friendly efforts; I tell you that MY MOTHER called and asked us up so this on its own should be taken as your official answer?

In case that still seems unclear, Jar Jar Bitch, here is a formula:

Gratuitous good-deed invite + ONCE EVERY CENTURY parental request = your crazy, psycho-bitch ass gets TRUMPED!

Am I wrong!?

Needless to say, I don’t mourn the absence of invitations from her.  I’d actually prefer scary, cardboard, monster company to hers and her psycho-breeding family’s.  I mean, if anyone’s responsible for making HER the way she is, it’s gotta be THEM, right?

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About LVital7019

Just your normal, everyday 9-5er. An uninspiring position in an inspirational non-profit moves me to constant goof-offery; aimless, on-the-job procrastination; a crankiness that borders on psychosis; and attempting to craft something meaningful with words. Just another so-called-job inspiring someone to feats of insanity with a hint of creativity... (Insert demonic laugh HERE.) View all posts by LVital7019

9 responses to “TBT: The “Pity” Christmas…

  • El Guapo

    Actually, her family may have been distraught that you weren’t coming, because they wanted you to save them from her making them that way!

    Like

  • LVital7019

    LOL Nah – they get no sympathy from me! 😉

    Like

  • Tony Single

    Well… I thought it was clear too, but maybe not? So confused now…

    Liked by 1 person

  • Miss Snarky Pants

    Oh, girl! The reason she didn’t hear you the first time you told her is because she’s a narcissist. She only listened to the words that directly impacted her. Because she wasn’t interested in hearing about your mom, your Christmas invitation, your son, she assumed you weren’t really interested in spending the holidays with your family because Jar Jar Bitchiness had stepped in to save the day. Why would go anywhere else but to her Den of Hell and eat shitty food and suffer through every self-aggrandizing story Jar Jar has to share about herself? It probably never occurred to her that you would decide upon anyone but her.

    Why can’t all the cool people like us work together? There’s always one bad apple…

    Liked by 1 person

    • LVital7019

      Hahaha! I guess that explains why she scolded me for touching “her” agency reimbursements & then yelled at me for not taking care of them while she was away. Lunatic! I’m writing a parody song about my saga right now!

      Hey at least we get to read each other’s blogs… 🙂 (which I am forced to cut way back on at the moment because of my shitty performance review)

      Liked by 1 person

      • Miss Snarky Pants

        I know. I have zero blog reading time, so you should feel honored. I’m in the middle of editing my novel and the clock is ticking. I have to get in my writing time before Hubby comes home and in between my neighbor remodeling an entire home (constant coming and going of cars, loud noises, sump pumps, hammering, yelling). I’m living an earplug existence.

        I can’t wait to hear this parody song. She sounds like a boss I used to have. You can’t win. Until you score a massive book deal and quit on the spot and write a tell-all about bitches in the workplace. I hate it when women don’t support one another. We have enough shit to deal with in the workplace.

        Liked by 1 person

      • LVital7019

        My friggin dream! I will post later or maybe tomorrow when I can inhale a bottle of wine. .. I am honored to have you as a reader! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Miss Snarky Pants

        Awww, shucks! Well, savor a bottle of wine for me. Actually, I only buy cheap wine nowadays, so you might have to suck it down fast so you don’t taste it.

        Like

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Tony Single

artist. wastrel. a quantum of potential.

The Greenwich Village Literary Review

A magazine by writers who love to write for readers who love to read.

The Winter Bites My Bones

The Collected Poems of Dennis McHale: 1981-2016

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