SpitTakes-R-Us, CANIHELPYOU!??


There are not many things for which I am overly grateful at Current Job.

Although there IS definitely someone that makes my days worth the drudgery and torture – my friend M from the Wildlife Department.

The other day she came to our offices to hand in some money from various tour-groups and our company store.  We were chatting downstairs for a few and then she approached Jar Jar Bitch’s lair.  I left her there to go make myself my morning fuel – the obligatory cup of coffee-flavored coffee.

From the kitchen, I spot M making a hasty and awkward retreat. I could swear she was sick and was now running back to her office to lock herself in the bathroom… her face a strained mixture of half-smirk with a dash of could be ha-ha, or maybe pain.  It was kinda hard to tell for sure.

Perplexed and concerned, I went back upstairs to call her.

My phone was ringing as I entered my office.  I pick up and immediately hear M laughing hysterically: HAHAHA


“M, what the hell is wrong with you? I thought you were sick!  What the EFF happened!??”

“OMIGOD, I can’t FRICKIN’ help it!  I was there to give payments to Accountant 1 and that Jar Jar BITCH was hanging over her cubicle wall to ask him a question.  ALL I kept seeing in my head was that POSTER you made of her!  I had to walk out before I PEED MYSELF or said something inappropriate in front of her!!”

That was all it took during a week of doldrums to make me ROTFL in harmony with my buddy, M. Thanks, Bitch! Muaahh!

And THIS, my friends, makes every hour of typing and revising and previewing and second-guessing and spell-checking, and maybe even a few minutes of office-torture, totally worth it! 🙂

*Shout-outs to M and a big “HOLLA!” to Taste of China on 86th Street in Brooklyn, NY; aka “Taste-o-China, CANIHELPYOU!!??”

About LVital7019

Just your normal, everyday 9-5er. An uninspiring position in an inspirational non-profit moves me to constant goof-offery; aimless, on-the-job procrastination; a crankiness that borders on psychosis; and attempting to craft something meaningful with words. Just another so-called-job inspiring someone to feats of insanity with a hint of creativity... (Insert demonic laugh HERE.) View all posts by LVital7019

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