Friday KILL or “Why Edita REALLY Should Buy a Ticket to BOTTOM-LINE TOWN”

A little song to illustrate my mood but what I also wish certain people (ahem, you KNOW who you are!) would do when they see me.  Moving on…

Nothing makes me madder than someone whose powers of communication, or lack thereof, keeps me from making some kind of forward progression.

Progress matters to me, especially in my place of employment – progress in diminishing the piles of paper on my desk; progress in my exodus downstairs for my morning coffee; progress in the general direction of the cafeteria and DO NOT come between me and that hand-scanner at 5:00 (unless you just happen to be my boss)!

My buddy, M, is always good for venting. She can commiserate LIKE A PRO.  She knows how to laugh at herself AND at other people, which is a valuable trait in a friend.

Meaning the laughing-at-other-people thing, of course.

Today I really needed to punch someone IN THE FACE and punching someone at work is usually not the best of ideas.  Although if one WAS to punch a coworker, Friday would be the best day to do it because at least you’d have a whole weekend to console yourself with booze or Xanax or whatever your pleasure-poison is…



From: L. Vidal
Sent: Friday, July 11, 2014 1:09 PM
To: “M”
Subject: KILLLL…

Have I mentioned that Edita drives me to thoughts of murderous retribution?

For the love of BOB, if she would JUST LEARN to GET to THE FKN POINT life would be way less like the 9th Circle of Hell!

She starts off RIGHT when I walk in from getting lunch outside about how she doesn’t know where MY boss is but that she needs to tell me something.  I’m like “Ok, Edita, he’s out…” So then she’s arguing with me “But his CAR is HERE!” so I’m like, “Edita, he’s off campus with the E.D. He isn’t here right now; what’s the deal?”

THEN she starts getting all snotty with me saying that she’s TRYING to tell me what the problem is if I would only let her FINISH…. 

When I started rolling my eyes, she tells me his gas-cap is open & scurries away.

OMFG!! If you just went outside and CLOSED THE FUCKIN’ THING, neither one of us would be aggravated right now!!

Lórien Vidal
Administrative Masochist, Business Office


From: “M”
Sent: Friday, July 11, 2014 2:01 PM
To: L. Vidal
Subject: RE: KILLLL…

HAHAHAHA I’m sorry but you really should put that on your blog.


From: L. Vidal
Sent: Friday, July 11, 2014 2:33 PM
To: “M”
Subject: RE: KILLLL…

LOL  I was thinking about it…  Don’t be sorry!  I knew you’d get a kick out of that shit.

I seriously felt like telling her off – AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIIIIME FOR THAT SHIT!  SPIT THE FUCKIN’ WORDS OUT, LADY!!

Image and video hosting by HilariousGIFs.com

I could not believe what was coming out of her mouth to me – “If you would just let me finish instead of always interrupting what I’m trying to say to you… blablabla, blablablabla, blabla-fucking-bla!”

Like are you SRSLY fucking kidding me with this bullshit right now!!!??

Edita, please allow me to demonstrate what it means in America to get to the God-forsaken POINT: “HI/HELLO, SWEET LORIEN (your choice really). YOUR BOSS’S GAS CAP IS OPEN. BYE.”

BOOYA, BITCH!! – MOTHERFUCKING DONE!!

Ok, this is definitely going on the blog …  LOL


From: “M”
Sent: Friday, July 11, 2014 3:08 PM
To: L. Vidal
Subject: RE: KILLLL…

What I will sound like when they throw me in the rubber room...

What I will sound like when they throw me in the rubber room…

Advertisements

About LVital7019

Just your normal, everyday 9-5er. An uninspiring position in an inspirational non-profit moves me to constant goof-offery; aimless, on-the-job procrastination; a crankiness that borders on psychosis; and attempting to craft something meaningful with words. Just another so-called-job inspiring someone to feats of insanity with a hint of creativity... (Insert demonic laugh HERE.) View all posts by LVital7019

9 responses to “Friday KILL or “Why Edita REALLY Should Buy a Ticket to BOTTOM-LINE TOWN”

Use your words...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Tony Single

artist. wastrel. a quantum of potential.

The Greenwich Village Literary Review

A magazine by writers who love to write for readers who love to read.

%d bloggers like this: