DraMOMic Finale: Labor Day Debacle

When Mom came down to us for Labor Day weekend her focus was killing two birds with one stone.  The plan was – pay us a (very fucking brief) visit while using our house as a safe-spot so that her two-month, long-distance, online boyfriend could pick her up. Pretty much immediately after arriving.

You’ll be surprised to know my annoyance wasn’t just about the lack of priority she placed on spending time with us. It wasn’t 100% my being a selfish, embittered child clinging to past resentment. Putting all sluttiness most judgements aside, here’s what went down…

Mom arrived at our house around noon on Saturday leaving her a bit of time to hang with us and wait for her MTTOTM (MyTime Textravaganza of the Moment) to pick her up at 2PM.

Within an hour of her arrival, it morphed from fun date-weekend into what felt to me like a decaying freak-show of Neur-ROT-O-Drama.

Red Flag #1: He’s tired and will be a little late so he can take a cat nap. This is after he spent the entire morning texting & calling Mom to confirm she was indeed actually coming.

Red Flag #2: The “work emergency”. Yeah, ok.  Not to say this couldn’t be entirely true, but WHY in the sevenhells would you neglect to let your date in on the possibility of being called away at a moment’s notice because you’re SOOOoo important!?

Ultimately it slid the slippery slope into dating detritus that I had no desire to witness. Mom disappeared upstairs with her cell for over half an hour (unofficial Red Flag #3).

His half-assed offer (tape up the windows, folks – hurricane RedFlaggius is headed our way!) – “You can drive yourself over but I probably won’t have time for you today” earned him The Second Chance. He promised to pick Mom up at 9:00 Sunday morning.

Wow…  2 months of emails and cellphone chats makes for such magical allure…

I can’t even… I just can’t.  Can you cause permanent brain-damage from face-palming for an entire weekend?  I should Google that…

Mom was disappointed and annoyed but we made the best of Saturday night.  We took her to dinner at a Spanish place I knew she’d love, we watched some retro George Carlin comedy on Netflix and Mom was asleep in the guest room by 10ish. These are fun times with Mom… Fun times.

When MT didn’t spontaneously appear at my door at exactly 9 in the morning, she started getting all “Oh he just BETTER FUCKING SHOW or bla bla fucking NEVER fucking BLA!”

What happened to dating being fun? Since when has neurosis and mild social ineptitude come before chivalry?? WHERE have all the flippin’ cowboys gone!!?

“Look, Ma – if he’s not here by 9:45 you & I will go to Dunkin Donuts for coffee, I’ll make breakfast and we’ll plan our day.”

He showed shortly thereafter. So they left and I didn’t hear from Mom until Monday morning…

MomTXT: Hi! It’s mom and we’re at Dunkin Donuts about 10 minutes from you. I need you to finger-stick him for me when we get to your place. His breath smells like acetone

Wait – wha..? What the heck…? Why!? (It’s really too early for this…)

Hellooo, Chris O’Dowd! Crushy-McFangirl begging your pardon, but our birthdays are 9 years & 7 days apart!

As the story goes, they went out to eat on Sunday evening and MT revealed (after downing 2 stiff drinks) that he forgets to eat because he’s LAZY.  Needless to say he got a tad light-headed at dinner. Oh, and he also forgets to take his blood pressure pills. Come Monday morning he’s shaky-handed and woozy with breath smelling like nail-polish remover. Mom is convinced he’s about to slip into a diabetic coma.  She’s an RN but also prone to neurotically over-diagnose “familiars”…

*Also, I’m not buying into the “lazy” thing.  “Lazy” doesn’t mean you don’t bother to eat – lazy means making yourself a flipping waffle or butt-dialing Domino’s & placing an order.

MomTXT: His blood sugar is probably very high. He may need to see a doctor!

Ok.  It’s not like I would outright refuse to assist in times of need, but WHAT the FUCK!?  So your dream-boat flaked on Saturday, gets sick at dinner because he starves himself (for days, we learned) and now, on the only remaining day of the holiday weekend you want me to: a) sacrifice my diabetic supplies (those suckers are expensive & limited by my health insurance); b) watch you play nursemaid/Mommy to a GROWN-ASS MAN; and c) possibly spend my ONE day off from work driving Grown-Ass Man who should KNOW how to EAT to a doctor and/or the ER? 

Shouldn’t Mom be sensing the Red Flags blowing around with the gale-force winds-of-WTF & slapping her in the face?  Why would she want to enter into another situation where she will be disappointed, aggravated and left doing all the caring?  Didn’t she JUST get divorced for that exact reason!?

Mom did the finger-stick and it turned out he wasn’t a raging diabetic.  What he WAS – mad dehydrated and probably malnourished so I gave him a huge glass of ice water & made him some eggs and a waffle; which he scarcely ate.

Quite the relief to find he wasn’t headed into a coma, but I’d file that entire weekend under “NEXT!!”.  Apparently, that’s just me.  Even though mom fell into a level of neurosis that has been blessedly absent since she moved out of her house and got her own apartment, she will probably cling to this guy just like she did with her ex-husband.

Why? Because she hates being alone more than she appreciates being a self-sufficient, independent woman who knows that she deserves better. Oh and because he wrote her a flipping sonnet or something.  I’m sure this is exactly what someone with a heart condition needs…

*****

Mom has been unusually quiet with me since leaving us that Monday.  Maybe things didn’t work out with MT.  Or it could be that she’s still “seeing” him and doesn’t want to hear any grief.  All I know is that I will not watch my mother go down that rabbit hole again.  I’ve been doing that since 1983 and it’s sad that she can’t seem to get a handle on improving her standards.

Do you think some women just never learn? Are some women just not equipped to find fulfillment alone? Am I overreacting? Be honest – I can take it… 🙂

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About LVital7019

Just your normal, everyday 9-5er. An uninspiring position in an inspirational non-profit moves me to constant goof-offery; aimless, on-the-job procrastination; a crankiness that borders on psychosis; and attempting to craft something meaningful with words. Just another so-called-job inspiring someone to feats of insanity with a hint of creativity... (Insert demonic laugh HERE.) View all posts by LVital7019

12 responses to “DraMOMic Finale: Labor Day Debacle

  • RockyCat

    Dude sounds like a real winner. Personally, I’d rather stab myself in the eye with a rusty knife than put up with some loser, but yep, some women are convinced they just can’t make it without a man, ANY man, in their life. Go figure.

    Liked by 1 person

  • Tony Single

    Wow. Just wow. I can’t even begin to know where to… well, begin. What disturbs me is why this guy barely EATS. He realises that you need to EAT in order to live, right? What’s so wrong with EATING anyway? What does he find so objectionable about it?

    And, when it comes to not being alone, I don’t think there are many people that are good at that. I think it’s why so many stay in relationships that they know aren’t good for them. Hopefully this is not the case with your Mum, but yeah… it probably is, so who am I kidding, right?

    PS: I LOVE Chris O’Dowd. Seriously, I’ve got such a huge man crush on him and Richard Ayoade. They were awesome in The IT Crowd. Funny show. So funny I’ve watched the entire thing through five times. I never get tired of it!

    Like

    • LVital7019

      Well, come to find out about a week ago that this gentleman is an alcoholic; albeit a functioning one. He apparently was going through the DTs – he went dry for a bit to hang out with my mother that weekend. They’ve remained friends.

      I’ve never watched The IT Crowd. I suck! Honestly, he is hilarious but I could listen to him talk all day! I am completely mollified by all those melodic, Anglo accents. It’s really embarrassing – I sit there like a schoolgirl! 😛

      Like

  • Tony Single

    Wow. I have nothing I can say in response to that then. I can only imagine how hard it would be to go through the DTs. Probably a good thing that I don’t drink then. I’d probably not trust myself to be able to stop at just one glass.

    As for Chris O’Dowd and The IT Crowd, I think you may get a kick out of this little clip. Seriously, funny stuff! I nearly wet my pants the first time I watched this scene!

    Like

  • thetattootourist

    Holy shit! It is hard to believe that she would hang on through that much bullshit. Call me old fashioned (go ahead) and I know there are a lot of online success dating stories out there but what happened to living your life and seeing who crosses your path? Online “dates” allow too many filters and create a false sense of connection (and obligation) before you have even met. You are such a rock star for being so well-balanced in the face of this Kookery.

    Liked by 1 person

    • LVital7019

      Hahahaha! YOU, calling ME a rock star!?? I bow in your presence, TT and thank you so much for the honor. I got to speak with her the night she stayed over & I I think she was wowed by how independent I turned out.

      Officially she’s moved on to the next Romeo. She decided to admit to herself that this one had some serious issues; as nice as he was. 😃

      Like

  • Samara

    Does the bullshit of dating crazy and unacceptable men, and making excuses for them, never END? I don’t know the whole back story of your mom – I’m new to the DraMOMic, but it’s gotta be really weird to see your mom acting so man crazy.

    Can’t wait to hear the stories of the next Romeo…

    Like

    • LVital7019

      She was married to a mildly sociopathic NYC sanitation worker for over 30 years. Rationalized putting up with his verbal abuse and antisocial personality because she, as she puts it, had “a kid to take care of”.

      Like

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Tony Single

artist. wastrel. a quantum of potential.

The Greenwich Village Literary Review

A magazine by writers who love to write for readers who love to read.

The Winter Bites My Bones

The Collected Poems of Dennis McHale: 1981-2016

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