So, out of boredom/frustration I took a Personality Disorder test on SimilarMinds.com. These are my results:
Personality Disorder Test Results
So… the first thing you’ll notice is that those percentages don’t exactly add up. I am only 100% of a person with 100% of a brain (sometimes I wonder) so perhaps this shows my rank within the gaggle of other nut-jobs who also took this test. This is most likely not a true depiction of my personality, or any accurate diagnoses, but it’s nice to have a little insight into the things in my skull which may or may not need “medication”; OR, have a spike driven blissfully through the back of said skull like that poor girl in Suckerpunch.
The second thing I noticed is that there appears to be way more wrong with me than I originally thought… Antisocial – maybe; schizoid and borderline – ok, I’ll take it. But “paranoid”? “Histrionic”? “Avoidant”?? “Depressive” and “OCD”, et al?? It sounds like I may need a “special, cozy jacket” and a “soft room”.
Why did I take this test? Because people are asking me to do actual, important-type work today and it’s making me feel all… well, this –> And my intrinsic reaction to all this work “obligation” is to throw up a bouquet of middle fingers. Yes, I know technically we are only born with 2; unless you happen to have polydactylism with an extra middle one. Then I’m cutting it off to add to my bouquet… (honestly that does sound kinda cray-cray but, y’know, I’d NEED it for the bouquet, so…)
Besides the psychosis of the above, I was also curious to know if I may actually be one (of only a few) of those (ten!?) findings because:
- Of the open-letter to “Job that is currently cannibalizing my soul and defecating my work-ethic” that currently resides on my stick-drive
- I Googled “What’s the best job for sociopaths”
- I have created a new record for the most on-the-job procrastination IN ONE MORNING
- I justified some of my myriad procrastination techniques with “Because I fucking felt like it; THAT’S why” and “Coffee”.
- I wrote this post.
Apparently there was more going on in my personality than I originally thought. It’s not like I expect you to be sympathetic to my plight just because I’m unfulfilled in my work-life and have been Tweeting stuff like this:
Currently Googling: “What’s the best job for sociopaths” because “people who are aggravated by the presence of humans” was way too long — L. Vidal (@lolaveed) November 10, 2014
Honestly, I’m not sure what I expected on a Monday. All I know for sure is that if you see a news story that goes something like “MAVERICK ADMIN HAS CRAY-CRAYVING; TAKES & GIVES COLLECTIVE “FINGERS” and says that I “fell way off” my (cheap-ass) Office Max chair and ran around campus with a letter-opener hacking (or in this case, sawing) off middle-fingers screaming, “THEY’RE FOR MY BOU-KAAAYYY!!!!!!!!!!!” then you heard the foretelling here first. Then you can approach the press with something like,
“Wow. I really, really enjoyed her brilliant, snarky humor but never suspected for a moment she was SERIOUS about all that cray-cray stuff. Someone really should have sent her to the EAP for a sliding-scale psychotherapy referral”
Don’t say I never gave you anything.