So hubby and I have been working with our mortgage lender to find a solution to modify our loan. Right now we’re in a default situation. We can’t short-sell because where on God’s green Earth would we go with all the NO MONEY made on a short sale?? My Subaru is really not big enough to live in…
Our mortgage company’s registered trademark motto is let’s-just-say “IRONIC”: “Helping Homeowners is What We Do!”. My husband and I currently fail to see an iota of “help” anywhere in this situation. Of course, this is just our opinion…
To explain – in October I was blocked from making my payment online. It was required I call the company, who outsources to a call-center in Mumbai. This is no less frustrating than, say, sawing one’s arm off with a makeup spatula. Look, I really have no problem with India or its people but if there is a serious problem with a mortgage account should one NOT be able to speak to someone on this side of the pond (Ocwen is in Florida for Criminy’s sake!) who has immediate access to all the (correct!) details and recent notes on the account?
The outsourced agents NEVER HAVE ANY IDEA of the current status of anything. It’s like Customer-Service Groundhog Day; but wayyy less entertaining and satirical. Unless you count the one agent who inexplicably attempted to speak to me with a Texas accent which really made me completely fucking stabby. Visions of wrapping the phone cord around his mocking little neck and choking the “Ma’am…” right outta him danced in my head; because WTF!?
Besides the previously mentioned annoyances, every single time we speak to them the agents sign off the exact, SAME WAY –
“Please see the homepage of our website where you can find helpful links to services and state agencies in your area who provide financial assistance”.
My point is, you really are not “helping homeowners” by saying the same thing to them over and over and over and OVER. “Please see our homepage for helpful links…(to shit we can’t even qualify for!)” can just kiss my perfect ass. Thanks, Sanjay, but your “helpful links” only help to raise my blood pressure. Oh, and my blood sugar. Bonus!
Another bonus: To improve upon an already stress-inducing situation, our default amount has now increased by another two thousand dollars during all the “processing”. During which time they outright refused to take any money from us that was less than the full amount due.
Recently, they reached a decision “in our favor”. Some other Relationship Manager called to outline the terms for me. I took notes.
Even. More. Bullshit.
You see, in a loan modification the interest rate gets reduced to make the monthly payments more affordable. Another proposal our Relationship Manager took to the underwriters was “Principal Forgiveness”. Not 100% sure about that one but she made it sound like either they just shave off the measly amount you owe OR they modify your principal balance using the current assessed value of our humble abode.
That sounds like potential actual help, right? But this isn’t what we got. We now have the pleasure of paying almost double the original monthly payment with the interest rate reduced by an eyeroll-worthy .125%. That is POINT-1-2-5% in case it’s too microscopic for you. But WAIT – this uh-MAY-zing rate is only for five years. THEN, our interest rate goes up and the payment is even less affordable.
So I’m thinking that this kinda/sorta sucks but it’s only until our default amount is paid off, right? Motherfucking NOPE. That “deal” (aka Booby-Prize with a size-DD boob) is for the lifetime of the loan which terminates on September 1, 2025.
Can someone assist in pointing the “Help” out to me?, ’cause I sure as hell don’t fucking see it. I thought “help” came in the oft-advertised form of “making your payments more affordable”.
But WAIT! It gets. Even. BETTER – our other “option” is to do a payment plan for the now-$7K+ we owe. We just are not allowed to SEE the details of that “option” unless we DECLINE the modification. And even more fantastic than that – if we don’t like the payment plan, we are not guaranteed to get the same loan modification nega-deal.
Am I on the motherfucking Price is Right? So, you won’t sashay over & reveal what’s behind Door #2 unless I pass on the shitty prize you just presented to me with your magical, Zombie Vanna-White hand-wave!?? I don’t understand how are either of these an “option” if we can’t know the specifics of each.
Imagine living out real life this way – say your husband wants sex and you offer him 2 options the same way Ocwen is “offering” me 2 ways to pay off my loan debt. Hubby will never know that he COULD potentially get a blow job unless he passes on the dry hump. OR – maybe you offer him the blow job FIRST and then he passes on it because he thinks you might have something even BETTER under your skirt but then all he gets is the dry-hump with no guarantee that he can have the blow job back if he passes. Good luck making it to your fifth anniversary…
So, Ocwen – WHERE is the fancy “Helping Homeowners” that you emblazoned at the top of your website?
Oh, wait – hold on! I DO see how you’re “Helping Homeowners”. It’s a lot like this:
“Helping Homeowners LINE OUR POCKETS is What We Do!”
“Helping Homeowners TO FINANCIAL RUIN is What We Do!”
“Helping Homeowners LOSE THEIR SHIT is What We Do!”
“Helping Homeowners FACE EVICTION is What We Do!”
“Helping Homeowners BUY US TIMESHARES is What We Do!”
“Helping Homeowners FEEL STABBY is What We Do!”
“Helping Homeowners GO OFF-GRID is What We Do!”
I’m pretty sure this is NOT the kind of help any homeowner in financial crisis is seeking. But that’s just my opinion.