Maybe it’d be best to enliven my blog with a sweet story about my REAL, once-upon-a-time, happily-ever-after kitty – Ms. Freeta – whose hilarious antics are deserving of a blog all their own.
I used to babysit my cousin’s oldest son when she and her husband went away on their Amway-pa-looza weekends. He and my son J were just a scant year older than the photo featured in this post and since Gabe was his usual whine-noceros (as in whine + rhinoceros = HUGE FUCKING WHINER!) self it was all I could to soothe and silence his incessant sobbing-for-mommy.
Sticking them both in a nice bubble-bath seemed like a perfect solution. Unfortunately, a harmless bath led to DEFCON 1 Toddler-Meltdown. Gabe would just not. Stop. Crying! My little guy, J, tried his best to “make nice” with quiet hugs and kisses but it just left us both completely sobsmacked. (Oh, alright! I know that one kinda sucks but how else can I sum up desperate mom & toddler both being completely dumbfounded by a level of urgent whining emboldened by that MUCH crocodile-teariness!!??)
Three houses in a row of ours were all plagued by bathroom doors that didn’t close correctly. What pushed its way into THIS one pretty much saved my sanity.
Freeta decided to join us in our little splash-n-cry bonanza. The Crier became calmer… This should be interesting.
“Look, Gabe – Freeta doesn’t want you to cry. She loves you!”
I would say anything at this point but Freeta pretty much handled the rest… She was curious, and came closer to see what all the fuss was about.
She came right up to the bathtub, sniffing around and tilting her head up towards the little ones. Then she put both her front paws up on the edge of the tub and stood up on her hind legs. The sobbing had ebbed a bit to just a silent sniffle.
“Aw, see? Freeta says it’s ok! Come and pet her.”
They both slosh-toddled to where she was peeking over and carefully scratched her head. She seemed not to mind their moist baby-hands one bit. She was determined to get closer so she jumped onto the side of the tub to peek down at this fascinating, white, fluffy stuff called bubble-bath. She peered downwards and sniffed it.
Then, she reached one paw further down and tentatively touched it. Gabe went completely silent and even lost his frown. She turned around very slowly and touched it with the other paw. Then, with all of us silently watching and waiting to see what daredevil-cat was up to, she put both of her front paws on the inside of the tub and took a step.
Before I could even inhale to gasp, Freeta’s attempt to step ONTO the layer of frothy white left her momentarily soaked on the bottom of the tub. Apparently she thought it was like indoor snow, or something way more solid than soap bubbles, on top of a tub filled with water and toddler broth. Quick as lightning she sprang straight up into the air and leaped OUT of the tub shooting like a fat, furry bullet down the hallway. Soaking the entire hallway.
But the kiddos were both laughing their heads off. “The cat jumped in the WATER!” J said with his face dripping with bubble-bath and giggles. Gabe laughed, too. At least I would sleep tonight, I thought.
Can’t speak for the cat who thought she could walk on bubble-bath, though.