In case you haven’t been following my antics on Twitter, you’ll notice my recent obsession with all things Grumpy-Cat. Apparently I’m spending WAYYYY too much time on her website…
Maybe it’d be best to enliven my blog with a sweet story about my REAL, once-upon-a-time, happily-ever-after kitty – Ms. Freeta – whose hilarious antics are deserving of a blog all their own.
I used to babysit my cousin’s oldest son when she and her husband went away on their Amway-pa-looza weekends. He and my son J were just a scant year older than the photo featured in this post and since Gabe was his usual whine-noceros (as in whine + rhinoceros = HUGE FUCKING WHINER!) self it was all I could to soothe and silence his incessant sobbing-for-mommy.
Sticking them both in a nice bubble-bath seemed like a perfect solution. Unfortunately, a harmless bath led to DEFCON 1 Toddler-Meltdown. Gabe would just not. Stop. Crying! My little guy, J, tried his best to “make nice” with quiet hugs and kisses but it just left us both completely sobsmacked. (Oh, alright! I know that one kinda sucks but how else can I sum up desperate mom & toddler both being completely dumbfounded by a level of urgent whining emboldened by that MUCH crocodile-teariness!!??)
Three houses in a row of ours were all plagued by bathroom doors that didn’t close correctly. What pushed its way into THIS one pretty much saved my sanity.
Freeta decided to join us in our little splash-n-cry bonanza. The Crier became calmer… This should be interesting.
“Look, Gabe – Freeta doesn’t want you to cry. She loves you!”
I would say anything at this point but Freeta pretty much handled the rest… She was curious, and came closer to see what all the fuss was about.
She came right up to the bathtub, sniffing around and tilting her head up towards the little ones. Then she put both her front paws up on the edge of the tub and stood up on her hind legs. The sobbing had ebbed a bit to just a silent sniffle.
“Aw, see? Freeta says it’s ok! Come and pet her.”
They both slosh-toddled to where she was peeking over and carefully scratched her head. She seemed not to mind their moist baby-hands one bit. She was determined to get closer so she jumped onto the side of the tub to peek down at this fascinating, white, fluffy stuff called bubble-bath. She peered downwards and sniffed it.
Then, she reached one paw further down and tentatively touched it. Gabe went completely silent and even lost his frown. She turned around very slowly and touched it with the other paw. Then, with all of us silently watching and waiting to see what daredevil-cat was up to, she put both of her front paws on the inside of the tub and took a step.
Before I could even inhale to gasp, Freeta’s attempt to step ONTO the layer of frothy white left her momentarily soaked on the bottom of the tub. Apparently she thought it was like indoor snow, or something way more solid than soap bubbles, on top of a tub filled with water and toddler broth. Quick as lightning she sprang straight up into the air and leaped OUT of the tub shooting like a fat, furry bullet down the hallway. Soaking the entire hallway.
Fan-FUCKING-tastic.
But the kiddos were both laughing their heads off. “The cat jumped in the WATER!” J said with his face dripping with bubble-bath and giggles. Gabe laughed, too. At least I would sleep tonight, I thought.
Can’t speak for the cat who thought she could walk on bubble-bath, though.
‘Nuff said. Meow, y’all.
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WTF Elsewhere 
April 9th, 2015 at 17:24
I had one cat who used to like watching me in the bathtub. He’d dip his paws into the suds & then shake them off in my face. When he (inevitably) fell/jumped in – and then out again within the same second – it forever became my fault. He always got even by jumping into the empty tub that was still wet and then walking all over the house, leaving wet (dirty) paw prints EVERYWHERE! There I was, walking hunchbacked wiping up those damn prints after every bath. I finally gave up and just took showers. Poor me.
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April 9th, 2015 at 23:12
Makes me wonder whether all my “gifts” were really gifts at all – I was convinced all those tiny dead things on our back stoop were because she loved me… 😉
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April 9th, 2015 at 18:12
Hilarious! I once had a cat that slept in the tub to keep cool when it was 120 outside and one morning he was in there without my knowledge. I flipped on the water and hit the shower button immediately only to hear a gawd awful howl. I opened the curtain and he was racing in circles to escape and saw his open when my face appeared. He ran for his life and wouldn’t come near me for a week. My husband towel dried him while I got the evil stare. 🙂
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April 9th, 2015 at 19:48
Aw, thanks! It was way funnier to watch. Of course I got the growl when I finally went to get her out from under the dining room table with a nice, dry towel. I had 2 kids under 5 to wrestle out of the tub first. She also slept in the tub in the summer and under the breakfast bar in the kitchen (where the heat pipes were) in the winter.
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April 9th, 2015 at 19:52
Laughing so hard at this. A cat that can walk on water would have been something to see, but alas, this is the real world… Poor Freeta. At least all the humans were happy that day. 😛
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April 9th, 2015 at 23:17
To this day I still wonder what she was thinking. My furry little heffalump! Pretty sure she knows how much we appreciated the laughter she gave us. 😀
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