Just a WTF*Up….

Sooo… I promised you more posts about love and stuff that’s shiny, flappy steeples folding bands.  If you haven’t already guessed, this is some kinda craziness…

Many of you (hopefully) have received an invitation via email to view this blog. Well that’s because I…

…fucked

…UP!

It is unbelievable what the subconscious will make you do when you’re pissed, anxious, stubborn, stressed, in need of a haircut, lacking trust and insert pretty much any other sour emotion *here*.

But this is not “Ow! I stubbed my toe because I feel guilty for denting your car!” or “Oops, I may have shredded a New Admission form because new admissions stress me out”.  This is… Complete. And. Utter. ANNIHILATION!

I am fuck-me-before-YOU-fuck-me run amok.

The blog is now in stealth mode since I may or may not have, in addition to the following fucktardery, opened it briefly at work once or twice. That is ALL I would need in addition to…

*In my last post my sweet and youthful boss was mentioned briefly.  Where the term for her used here was NOT  mentioned briefly was in my work email.  To another co-worker.

WTF, self!!??

She called me to her office a week ago today to voice concerns over an appointment and whether or not my email is work-related. It is for the most part work-related, I told her.  Didn’t really feel the need to openly disclose that I vent to my buddy M when I’m aggravated. Apparently she was way ahead of me on that last part since she pulled out the stack of printed emails at our meeting today at 12.

Since I had still been feeling the waning sting of being reprimanded by a Toddler my boss and having my words twisted around to make it sound like I hate nurses and feel they are inferior in intellect to myself, AND having some actions grossly exaggerated like spending “most” of my day on email, I traded a few emails with M during recent days. To us email is just a stress-reducing vehicle we use sometimes to express our own brand of snarky, somewhat dark humor.

My boss is currently not feeling the funny.

The meeting today with my boss and an HR representative/witness that has hated me since I worked in the Business Office was even less funny.

Although she assured me that I had “nothing to worry about”, it begs the perception that it’s all just a veil so that they can decide with how much flourish and fanfare they wish to fire my ass on Monday. I am suspended since 12:00 today until Monday morning when I will report to my desk like nothing happened. Until they call me to meet.

On the one hand I think younger people today take what amounts to harmless venting too seriously. If you hadn’t read it in my emails would you know I even said those things? On the other hand, would you continue to employ someone who conveniently provided you with proof of calling you a “preggo B*”, a “Toddler Boss” and falsely accused you of asking employees to repay you for the plants you bought for our outside patio?  That last part was almost true – except it was the Clinical Director’s Admin who came out to ask for $5 donations from everyone… Yeah, I put that in the emails to M, too.

Boy. Once I unleash the venomous hounds from hell they just won’t stop until I’m stomped into the burning pavement; along with my professional reputation, my job, my pride and don’t forget my boss’s feelings. I’m sure I will be more than reminded about those come Monday by our departmental director.

*sigh*

Do you think there’s any chance she meant what she said about “taking time to think whether the Health Center is right for you” and wanting to give me a “second chance” to make it work?

Chime in if you want.  It would be nice to hear something other than the screaming in my head currently slamming me for finally getting the job I wanted and completely ripping it to bloody shreds…