WERK Werk WERK Werk WEERRRRKK!

Will this be:

  • An open letter of apology to my boss?
  • A modestly self-deprecating assessment of my id?
  • A mea-culpa to the world at large that I’ve anonymously and not-so-anonymously verbally abused?

This is NONE of those things.

Well, maybe a small fraction of those things…

Honestly, did you ever get stuck in an endless loop of anger? Get lost in the fumes of it; felt yourself a little drunk, or even HIGH <af> on those fumes? I’m right there.  With the flame to the bowl and my lips to the… Okay, ENOUGH with the bong analogy, you get it –

I sort of overdosed on the rage factor. BIGTIME overdosed.

BIG. FUCKING…. BIG TIME.

I almost got myself fired in fact. Fired over a bunch of stoopid emails.

Is there no end to my talent for self-sabotage? Apparently not.

To (hopefully) long-and-short it for you nice folks – I met with HR on the Tuesday after my long-weekend suspension and it was quite the eye-opener. I came out of it with this in mind:  Do I really like my job? Do I really hate people as much as my boss, that smirking Benefits Coordinator and now the HR Director currently think I do? Am I solely the sum of angry words I find so easy to type & send to M (or the entirety of Twitter!)? Should that HR Director get her ass handed to her for saying that SHE wouldn’t keep me if SHE was my boss??

That’s a lot of questions to ponder. It was a LOOOONG-ASS meeting! And yes – an HR Director really did say that to me.

How many of you have gotten double-teamed in person by people who you’ve so readily lambasted with a widely imaginative plethora of unkind words? Words like “Preggo Bitch”; “Toddler Boss”; “neurotic fucktard”; “lazy useless bitch-ass”; “entitled-ass twatface”… You read that right.

Those things are not so pride or humor-inducing these days . Sometimes you just get stuck in, and sick of, the loops of anger and resentment you used to find highlarious.  At least I did.

So I currently still have a job. One that is honestly a pleasure to drag my tired ass out of bed for each day. Of course they did make me sign some shit in HR. So of course I took precautions with my blog; which is why all of you on this list got those invites.

Ms. High-and-Mighty HR Director also warned me about including residents of the lovely agency which employs me in my blog. *Items from my drafts folder were included in the pile of email evidence they mic-dropped in front of me on the conference table at that post-suspension meeting. *sigh* I am SUCH a fucking moron…

So it made a fuckton of sense to deny the existence of this blog to their faces and switch it to Private even though any one of you subscribers could potentially be any representative of my job. Either way, I don’t break client confidentiality. Why would I? Is it breaking confidentiality to say that I like and feel for the kids my agency houses? By “kids” of course I’ll insist I mean the baby goats that are so easily found on the campus where I work. ( 😛 Suck it, blog screeners!)

As for the “adults” who I am so lucky to call coworkers, FUCK you; crybaby cunts. You might just be lucky enough to star in any one of my upcoming posts. Even if I have to Mad-Lib that shit just to write about you.


*WTF “Mad Libs”; Volume 1*

For example, I have to meet with the High Sparrow on name day to discuss a situation where one of my Rainbowguard Warriors has filed a misuse of invisibility cloak against another one of my Fruity Pebbles. To that I say, Dracarys MOTHERFUCKERS! I ain’t swimming a cherry.

Cockadoodie that!

*Mic drop* *Walks off stage*

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About LVital7019

Just your normal, everyday 9-5er. An uninspiring position in an inspirational non-profit moves me to constant goof-offery; aimless, on-the-job procrastination; a crankiness that borders on psychosis; and attempting to craft something meaningful with words. Just another so-called-job inspiring someone to feats of insanity with a hint of creativity... (Insert demonic laugh HERE.) View all posts by LVital7019

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Tony Single

artist. wastrel. a quantum of potential.

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A magazine by writers who love to write for readers who love to read.

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