Tag Archives: humor

TBT: Freeta and Those Hypnotic, Jade-Green EYES…

The many, many faces of Ms. Freeta.

The many, many faces of Ms. Freeta. Click to enlarge.

I really miss this face. How could I not? Not your average, everyday, skittish feline; she always sought out human company and was always ready for a photo-op.

Take the featured image – she insisted on joining me every morning for breakfast; not at my feet awaiting the crumbs to fall, but sitting at my side. Continue reading


And My Criminal Record Remains SPOTLESS!

The proof that I’ve kinda, sorta had it with this place is that I’m now entering subversive text into my Administrative Assistant Procedure Manual.   Continue reading


Crows are Fargin ICE HOLES!

Here I am AGAIN – up at an ungodly hour making me want to rip out my own brain stem and beat you with it.  On any normal weekday at 4:00 A.M., my movie-dreams have faded into complete, blissful unconsciousness.  You flying nihilistic ink-stains are nuking our blissful unconsciousness; mutating us into rage-fueled kill-mongers, putting you on the top of our List of Reasons for Getting a Shotgun. Continue reading


TBT: Taking Freeta For a Ride

My mother fooled me once… …ONCE! (Photo credit Dr. Allison Glassman)

 And, if you happen to reside in the Southeast/Brewster/Patterson NY area, consider Dr. Allison. She was always fantastic with Freeta the “Lion-Cat” (whose picture you might still see on the front-desk bulletin board) and treats all kinds of animals & birds.


Preview spot: SNARKNADO…

*Best read with Mr. Moviephone’s voice in your head to enhance dramatic tone. Roll tape!



 AS IF A NIGHTMARE, DEAD-END JOB WASN’T BAD ENOUGH – SNARKNADO! is NOW. Scanning.  IN!…

NOT just another ANGRY ADMIN … BEYOND your everyday SARDONIC SECRETARY – her witticisms punctuated by the blood-red lips of a snark-slashed smile…

Seven-years jaded & increasingly resentful OF THE MUTATING MOUNTAINS OF PAPER ON HER DESK and the pitiful complaints of Professional Idiots,

SHE’S… …HAD… …ENOUGH!

Continue reading


Weird Thoughts, Petty BS and Other Ass-Hattery

Qmark blueI have a bunch of questions.  There are WTF thoughts plaguing the remaining rational area(s) of my brain and I. NEED ANSWERS, PEOPLE!  In my humble opinion there is just way too much stupidity and a seemingly endless number of mind-boggling mysteries on a daily basis for me to stand. Continue reading


TBT: The Fluff-Muffin

She love the husband JUuust a wee bit more...

She loved the husband JUuust a wee bit more…

So recently I’ve come to the conclusion that the brilliant novel-draft I’ve been sort of working on & saving for the past 5 years should be trashed. Continue reading


Texts and Drugs and Wok ‘n Rolling…

DANGER: Bong water ahead...

DANGER: Bong water ahead…

 

 

Sometimes things don’t translate well in a text conversation. There can often be typos, awkward auto-correct fails and just your basic, human misinterpretation.  If you add to this a stay-at-home dad who’s also kind of a hop-head, hilarity and predictably a little frustration will surely ensue… Continue reading


The Comment Mafia

Recently I got a glorious shout-out from Lady Goo Goo GaGa regarding comments on her hilarious post, “Only as Skinny as Your Fattest Child“.  Her blog is always beyond funny and, even though I am neither a stay-at-home mom nor a housewife, I love it. So THERE. 🙂

It’s always so mystifying to me when folks who consciously sign up for and regularly read a **humor** blog on the perils of motherhood, or the perils of being an attractive woman, or why we should all poop glitter or any other subject for that matter, suddenly become all shocked-and-appalled when a blog author touches on a “delicate”, hot-button topic unreasonably vigilant when they erroneously perceive the innocent use of a common word as outright racism. Continue reading


SpitTakes-R-Us, CANIHELPYOU!??

HAHAHAHAH!! EET ALMOST COME OUT MY NOSE!!

There are not many things for which I am overly grateful at Current Job.

Although there IS definitely someone that makes my days worth the drudgery and torture – my friend M from the Wildlife Department.

The other day she came to our offices to hand in some money from various tour-groups and our company store.  We were chatting downstairs for a few and then she approached Jar Jar Bitch’s lair.  I left her there to go make myself my morning fuel – the obligatory cup of coffee-flavored coffee. Continue reading


Voicemail of the Week

It took the Administrative Assistant from HR no less than ONE-HUNDRED words to basically ask me if anybody in my office happened to be missing a Post-It with a phone number on it.  The Post-It accidentally became attached to a signed form which I interofficed back to them yesterday.

NEED... ...MORE..... POST-ITS!!!

NEED… …MORE….. POST-ITS!!!

ONE. HUNDRED. WORDS…

It’s that type of message where you’re rolling your eyes so hard that should anyone enter in the middle of this, they’d probably think you were having a seizure and might just make the mistake of calling the paramedics.

At least that would make the day more interesting by allowing me the chance to ROLL with that opportunity!

 


TBT: The “Pity” Christmas…

Scarier than coal in your stocking

Scarier than coal in your stocking

In my early days of employment at Current Job, I was taken protectively under the wing of Jar Jar Bitch.  Back then, I could still look her in the eye and NOT be the least bit tempted to put her in a choke-hold.  We all know by now how I was duped into falling for that “Mother Hen” bullshit and that if anyone ever repeatedly professes to be a mother-hen then they are most likely psychotic or full of shit, at the very least.

This particular year, my husband decided to go south for the Christmas holiday to be with his family. This is not something I normally enjoy so, although less than thrilled with his nonchalant decision to leave me behind, I chose to stay home with my son. Continue reading


Never Ask an Over-40 Stoner How College is Going

Yeah... ...because, THIS.

Yeah… …because, THIS.


TBT: Driving Miss Mullet

Driving lessons+ Abuelito+chickie-mullet+flirty street rats=FUN IN PR!

Driving lessons+ Abuelito+chickie-mullet+flirty street rats=FUN IN PR!

*(photo credit: Luis Angel Vidal, my own disc camera)

For 2 or 3 summers in a row I was one lucky fly-girl.  I got to spend the vacation in Puerto Rico with my grandparents. Continue reading


Losing My Mind… To ASOTV Products

Happy Monday, followers! I will now occasionally be blogging over at Showcaine.com, which is a great new blog out of my hometown of Brooklyn, NY. Check them out, check out their YouTube show and definitely read my post! (Excerpted below)

Because we're now too dumb for a Tamagotchi...

Because we’re now too dumb for a Tamagotchi…

Americans, we are not THAT stupid…

Do as nature intended, my friends, and make a conscious effort. Unlike some very popular government propaganda, this stuff you see on TV WILL actually kill your brain cells. LIFT a hand; RAISE it to toast a ban on the banishment of the American intellect. Just please don’t cave in to the convenience of plastic handles for those bottles…

via ASOTV Gadgets: Dumbing Down Americans 24/7.


Tony Single

artist. wastrel. a quantum of potential.

The Greenwich Village Literary Review

A magazine by writers who love to write for readers who love to read.

The Winter Bites My Bones

The Collected Poems of Dennis McHale: 1981-2016