WERK Werk WERK Werk WEERRRRKK!

Will this be:

• An open letter of apology to my boss?
• A modestly self-deprecating assessment of my id?
• A mea-culpa to the world at large that I’ve anonymously and not-so-anonymously verbally abused?

This is NONE of those things.

Just a WTF*Up….

Sooo… I promised you more posts about love and stuff that’s shiny, flappy steeples folding bands.  If you haven’t already guessed, this is some kinda craziness…

Welcome Back, Meaning! (aka The Parental Retreat)

DAFUQ was I thinking??

You know when you’re struggling with something at your new job and your boss comes at you in full-on, Anal Annie “test mode” and you silently and proudly accept said challenge and conquer it LIKE A BOSS!?

Well, that didn’t happen.

*BlanksGiving*

How are you all doing? Good. I’m not quite sure how I got myself stuck in this two-fer holiday nightmare but it’s giving me a case of the What-the-Fucks!…

For one – back in August at the end of my father-in-law’s 75th birthday celebration I gave myself a present and outright refused the favor of watching his pissy little shit… I mean, his sweet little shih tzu who is prone to excited fits of incontinence, over the Christmas weekend. I was all proud of my standing firm and tall in the Land of Nope – which is my sweet spot in times like this.

Mission…. Approaching Near-Impossible

Good morning, Candidate 50764 –

We May Have lost a Director…

Lately M is saying stuff like, “I’m-o KILL that MOTHER%@#&*!”.

This year she’s been terribly vexed with single-handedly coordinating every aspect of a major conference sponsored by our agency.  People come from all over the world.  They need hotels; they want a shuttle to and from; they don’t speak English(!); some want on-campus apartments; some want foofoo hotels.  They need M to wipe their noses, make their copies, call them cabs and powder their asses.  All almost-300 of them…

She is bitchier than I normally am (which seems impossible) and may have already killed someone…

PAD Day 4 – Departure Poem

I am lagging WAYYYyyyyy behind on this, peeps.  It hasn’t been a super-fun few weeks; or months; or years depending how long or how well you know me…  More on that at a later date. 

The Half-Week From HELL!

It is only the THIRD day of this week.  So far there have been a rainbow assortment of annoyances leading to an increasing level of infuriation.

– I’ve assisted degreed adults in the capacity of a Special Education teacher.  For stuff EVERYONE in the office workforce should already know like email and printing a flipping document.

I’m Farmer Ted…

The other night I was pleased to catch a bit of one of my all-time favorite, geek-girl, plain-Jane movies of all times: “16 Candles“.  One of the BEST scenes is when Jake wades through the wreckage of his home, post-party melee, and discovers Farmer Ted “trapped” under a glass coffee table.  It always cracks me up, but this time the usual ha-ha & fond reminiscence kind of disintegrated…

The Moment I Realized That Moving “UP” REALLY MEANS Stepping Down…Into a Pail of Llama Poo

I recently sent in a Posting Response form for an open position.  Realistically, I never expected it to come with more money BUT disturbingly, this “Coordinator” position comes complete with a “salary-adjustment”.  Also quite trauma inducing is the depressingly low current salary – I have the enviable ability to check budget lists up in here and it is slightly less per year than my own. 

Things I (THANKFULLY) Missed by Not Being Able to Afford a Vacation This Summer

So summer is almost over & there was no vacation this year.  Well, we DID go to Daytona Beach last November but took a sacred oath after coming home (to the aftermath of some Farmer Ted-style shenanigans courtesy of my Cling-On son) to NEVER GO AWAY AGAIN until Cling-On moves out.  And leaves his keys BEHIND.

Preview spot: SNARKNADO…

*Best read with Mr. Moviephone’s voice in your head to enhance dramatic tone. Roll tape!

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 AS IF A NIGHTMARE, DEAD-END JOB WASN’T BAD ENOUGH – SNARKNADO! is NOW. Scanning.  IN!…

NOT just another ANGRY ADMIN … BEYOND your everyday SARDONIC SECRETARY – her witticisms punctuated by the blood-red lips of a snark-slashed smile…

Seven-years jaded & increasingly resentful OF THE MUTATING MOUNTAINS OF PAPER ON HER DESK and the pitiful complaints of Professional Idiots,

SHE’S… …HAD… …ENOUGH!

TBT: Saint or Sucker? – The Kirigami Project

Significantly blonder version of my angsty teen self.

A few of you have asked for more reminiscences about Dad.  I figured this would be a good time to take you wayyyyyyyy back to my high school years when my angst, impatience and general jadedness were just twinkles in my raccoon-linered eyes.

Alas, I jest.  😉

I was living with Dad and his second wife, A, at the time along with her two young daughters, S & R.  Since R and I were closer in age we bunked together while the youngest of us, S, had her own room.

Friday KILL or “Why Edita REALLY Should Buy a Ticket to BOTTOM-LINE TOWN”

A little song to illustrate my mood but what I also wish certain people (ahem, you KNOW who you are!) would do when they see me.  Moving on…

Nothing makes me madder than someone whose powers of communication, or lack thereof, keeps me from making some kind of forward progression.

Progress matters to me, especially in my place of employment – progress in diminishing the piles of paper on my desk; progress in my exodus downstairs for my morning coffee; progress in the general direction of the cafeteria and DO NOT come between me and that hand-scanner at 5:00 (unless you just happen to be my boss)!

Imbecillusism of the Week: RUFKM!? Excuse-of-the-Week

“Because I didn’t have my computer to give me the CALENDAR POP-UP to remind me that it was time to come over and cover for you”

I bet you’re laughing already. I will admit to laughing, but not in the way that conveys the pleasant surprise of finding something hilarious