Just a WTF*Up….

Sooo… I promised you more posts about love and stuff that’s shiny, flappy steeples folding bands.  If you haven’t already guessed, this is some kinda craziness…

What a Super-Honest “— Available” Ad Should Say

**ASSISTANT AVAILABLE**

NOTE RESUME BREAKDOWN DETAILS FIRST!!

*Click to open in a New Tab. See how smart & considerate I am?

 a)  DO NOT, I repeat – DO NOT even think about sticking me in another accounting/billing/banking/investments/anything-to-do-with-MATH-or-insurance office. Just NO.

Hell for Lazy Secretaries: Steam-Roller Grrrrrl

It was almost as cool as this one. Almost…

I am strapping on my rockin’ quad-skates; tightening the chin strap on the stoopid fresh, retro gold, glitter helmet that I *DID NOT* set back down on the table and abandon because of the exorbitant price tag at the sidewalk flea market on Houston Street.  I’m adjusting my black and gold fishnets and accounting for all my gear – including a wicked mouth-guard – and am NOW… READY… To JAM!

Fishnet-burns and hot-laps be damned, whip me past the offensive and fire me up to knock some bitches down.  I’ve got a WICKED hip-check… BOOM!!

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Yeah, I daydream.

Hell for Lazy Secretaries: Sealing My Coffin

January 2015 was the month from hell.  My funny Director went out on maternity leave.  Right before she left, the A.E.D. called me in for a discussion about the mess on my desk (that cursed paper quicksand!), that I seem unhappy and, ironically, the fact that he was told I applied to other departments even though he assured me in the same breath to feel free to apply to other departments since maybe I’m unhappy.  He repeated the “So-and-so told me you applied to other departments” statement 3 times during our conversation.  It would appear this was an issue for him.

I Love to Hate…

…working here. I love to HATE working here. Apparently.

That job, for which my hopes were smiling and raised like a 16 y-o geek girl in headgear with a crush on the elusive hot, nice-guy jock, went to the lovely lady who inspired this post.

The Moment I Realized That Moving “UP” REALLY MEANS Stepping Down…Into a Pail of Llama Poo

I recently sent in a Posting Response form for an open position.  Realistically, I never expected it to come with more money BUT disturbingly, this “Coordinator” position comes complete with a “salary-adjustment”.  Also quite trauma inducing is the depressingly low current salary – I have the enviable ability to check budget lists up in here and it is slightly less per year than my own. 

That Curb-Couch Might Give You an STD…

Once in a while I troll the Creative Gigs listed on CraigslistNY.  Sometimes just for amusement, because, let’s face it – who wouldn’t want to spank a middle-aged white male for an hour each week for $100–$150 per session with a chance for permanent lucrativeness??  Sometimes, I really want to see what’s out there beyond the 9-5, 40-hrs-a-week quicksand pit of office-management and lemmings in shiny, metal boxes so many of us find ourselves stuck in these days.

So the other day, I answered a couple ads in Creative and got an almost immediate reply from Luke of CamJobs, “Talent Recruiter”.  Basically it’s a site that pulls from a database of sexy people who just “show off their bodies; no sex is involved”.  After sounding slightly annoyed and almost scolding in his tone in answer to my first question about tech requirements we proceeded with a friendly, informative conversation.