Ask Freeta: Dementia Equals Demerits??

Dear Freeta,

This week I got my first ever negative performance review.  It’s basically a wet sack of inarticulate, poorly recollected meanderings dribbling from the mind of a senile, inattentive old coot.  Even though I’ve carefully drafted a perfect rebuttal, it hurts nonetheless.

Ask Freeta – 9-LIVES WORTH OF PROBLEMS: Vol 1

Will give advice in exchange for mini-marshmallows

Dear Freeta,

I don’t understand. What have I done to deserve the 22-y-o Cling-On (aka my son) who has lived with us for the past 8 years & plays XBox Live all day, can’t manage to wash a dish without leaving behind greasy residue & bits of food/soap and feels I should give him an “engraved invitation” to chip in around the house!? Shouldn’t he know what to do by now and JUST DO IT!? Please help (before I notify the “Federation” and declare an all-out war backed by “Star Fleet”)!

– Signed,
Setting Phasers to “STUN” (Not really!)

Dear Setting Phasers,

#1 – I thought we agreed on that half-pound bag of catnip in exchange for the invaluable advice.  Not even a single mini-marshmallow? What gives, woman!? We’ll get back to that since I know people up here in heaven now, so… first warning is all I’m sayin’.