Throwback: Finding Humor in Hell

So I’m a tad late for TBT. Sue me – it’s been a tough week:

Spirits, we need to convene…

— Lola the Short 🤍🇵🇷🇵🇱🇷🇺🇷🇴 (@lolaveed) September 30, 2014

Nothing like a cerebral embolism to make everyone hurrah every time you break into song and spontaneously count to 10. My poor Aunt…

— Lola the Short 🤍🇵🇷🇵🇱🇷🇺🇷🇴 (@lolaveed) October 1, 2014

As many of you already know, I lost my dad in 2005. It was a terribly sudden and tragic loss and I’m pretty sure I went slightly out of my mind. Dad and I were CLOSE. Really, really close…

There were many sleepless nights, crying and some hysterics courtesy of yours truly. It wasn’t really my fault – when I caught sight of my cousin Eric, whom I hadn’t seen in ages, in my Godmother’s house where we were all graciously welcomed, I nearly lost my shit. He looked almost exactly like Dad when he had his full beard.

Imbecillusism of the Week: RUFKM!? Excuse-of-the-Week

“Because I didn’t have my computer to give me the CALENDAR POP-UP to remind me that it was time to come over and cover for you”

I bet you’re laughing already. I will admit to laughing, but not in the way that conveys the pleasant surprise of finding something hilarious

Showers, Spies and Crusty Microwaves

So there’s this situation at work which I, as (my) luck and position would have it, have the good fortune of handling.

It seems for some time now that someone has been splashing around in the downstairs ladies bathroom. There have been several complaints from the ladies about getting butt-soaked and general watery mayhem.  Several disturbing times a day, water will be found all over the counter, the floor, the toilet seat, the mirror, the doorknob.

Um, WTF! Was our potty being used by a certain someone to enact a secret water-ritual every flipping day??

Calamity Pane

So for 3+ years my coworker, J,  and I have had this ongoing debate, aka WAR, about the front entrance to our building.  We have a glass door complete with prominent metal frame and handle, next to which is a floor-to-ceiling picture window.

Crazy Bird Lady (part 2)

(See Part 1 here)

She will talk your darn ear off

Give a second or two

It will turn to 10 minutes at least

And her manner, it seems

Is unfriendly at best

Crazy Bird-Lady (part 1)

Do not come seeking payment –

She’s out feeding the birds

Never mind she comes hourly; same as we

Do not call her for “friendly”

She’s too busy for that

Throwback Thursday – Dispatch Comix

This is probably where my office angst took off running.  Back in 1997 I was dispatching at a corporate black-car service based in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn. Back in those days, blogging & internet bullying were just twinkles in a Canadian programmer’s eye…

“I have heard my animals’ voices again…”: DEADWEIGHT

This is a great example of the workplace entitlement-syndrome and super-annoying, quasi-martyrdom that is experienced when working with pseudo grandmas who think they have better things to do at work than actual work.

Imbecillusism of the Week 2/7/14

“Sorry I won’t be able to make it this time.”

Innocent-sounding enough; a deceptively benign email reply, right? But to examine the facts:

Original email: Sent by the Executive Administrative Assistant at approximately 11 A.M. requesting coverage for the switchboard operator who needed to leave at 2:00 that very same day.

This moron sends her reply at 4:40 P.M.

Tee-DAZZLED!! Casual Friday Crazy…

Someday, when warmer weather finally arrives, I will be seriously tempted to drape my hopeless empty shell of a secretary’s  body in this little number for a casual Friday. Or, perhaps this might stir things up at the monthly Administrative Assistant’s Meeting!

(Apparently, my dosage of Fukitol is currently way too high…)

Deadweights & “Mean Girls”, Office-Style

In all my professional life, I have never understood why in the name of Gainful Employment and Successful Business Practices certain people are allowed to earn endless pats on the back, much less awards for longevity and service. Honestly, do people this scatterbrained, spelling & grammar challenged, rude, lazy and sloppy really deserve a paycheck??  In a nation of at-will companies, why are hard-earned dollars doled out to folks who make a literal mockery of career and professionalism when there are serious folks (like me, ahem!) eager to be your next Employee-of-the-Month??

Signs I’m About to Go Postal, Day 538

Based on an ACTUAL work order. Teetering on the verge of a nervous breakdown, it cheered me significantly when the B&G Administrative Assistant called me and allowed me to hear her laughing to the point of almost falling off her chair after clicking on this work order.

800 Brazen Corners
Bldg 235, Could-be-ANYONES Office 
“Anna Sylum” has alerted me that the current, 5-alarm emergency of the day is that the ladies room light bulbs are ALL out. I attempted to enter this work order 2 other times, but she kept coming up to my office to update me on the number of bulbs currently out of service. First it was just one; then it was 3; now it’s all. I almost had a nosebleed…  Please, for the Love of Bob have someone bring some CE13T/4 (N) 13W 120 VAC bulbs over (these are what’s currently in the fixture) before dusk is upon us & we are all subjected to another whine-fest about the bulbs in the bathroom?? Your assistance is greatly appreciated.

Also, per the A.E.D., please disregard her request to have Facilities re-hang the bird-feeder she brought from home (hung on the Founder’s tree by the Romanian intern).

Time Available For Repair(s): all day