Today I sat at an empty desk in Accounts Receivable to stamp some HR forms with my currently-on-vacation boss’s signature. It was MORE quiet and serene than I’ve ever known that area to be – and that area is also home to “Infamous AP and Edita the Bird-Lady”.
There was no muttering from our resident “Roseanne” who sits in the corner about how annoying and RUDE Edita is on the phone or how many PERSONAL CALLS she makes while rambling on endlessly in Latverian. There was no running to the Accounting Manager’s office to tattle on anyone. It was heavenly.
Today Edita said the most half-baked narcissistic thing I’ve ever heard…
She asked the other AP chick if someone said her name. It was wise NOT to contribute to this discussion. I’d have risked being prodded, aka talked to DEATH, for more information which I obviously didn’t have. It got all Miss Marple up in here for a minute.
“Who said my name?”
“I swear I heard somebody say my name. Did you recognize the voice?”
All of a sudden it kinda sounded just like my proper Catholic grandmother had been smoking weed in church.
“Oh, ha ha hee hee hee! Jane, ha ha! – Did you see the titmouse I was feeding outside the window? You know how – ha hee hee! – it goes ‘chi chi chi’? It sounded just like it was saying my NAME! Ha ha ha, HEE HEE!”
Wow. Edita might finally be losing her mind. She thought she heard a titmouse say her actual name.
Are you THAT narcissistic that you think your little birdie friends fly over to thank you in between cracking seeds and jousting other eaters with their beaks? Do we work in Snow White’s fucking FOREST or something!?
Trust me, this place is really NOT that magical.Sounds like Elwood P. Dowd has a perfect match over here. At least Harvey would actually be able to say her flipping name…
September 8th, 2014 at 20:32
Holy snappin’ duck shit, you and Aussa have way too much in common in your places of work. Where do these people come from?
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September 8th, 2014 at 20:39
If I hadn’t this lovely, healthy sense of fucking humor I might have to join the birds outside her window! (I’d be the one going “Tweet tweet, BITCH!” & then the white coats would come. Yay, disability!).
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September 8th, 2014 at 20:46
…and take you straight to Aussa’s place. Imagine that, you blogging from the inside, Aussa from out…I’d pay real money to see that shiz!
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September 8th, 2014 at 20:49
Hahahaha! Fucking HILARIOUS! Wonder how Aussa would feel about that… 😉 She’s an awesome writer.
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September 8th, 2014 at 20:52
Well, really, you both have awesome in common, what with your witty turns of phrase and made up words and snappy story telling, the only difference is she’s just prolific…and unkillable, methinks…
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