Did You Have That Beard When I Last Posted…? Well, Neither Did I…

What. The. FUCK is UP!??  To break down the happenings in the last several months into bite-sized, savory little pieces I present you with the following list:

WERK Werk WERK Werk WEERRRRKK!

Will this be:

• An open letter of apology to my boss?
• A modestly self-deprecating assessment of my id?
• A mea-culpa to the world at large that I’ve anonymously and not-so-anonymously verbally abused?

This is NONE of those things.

Just a WTF*Up….

Sooo… I promised you more posts about love and stuff that’s shiny, flappy steeples folding bands.  If you haven’t already guessed, this is some kinda craziness…

Welcome Back, Meaning! (aka The Parental Retreat)

DAFUQ was I thinking??

You know when you’re struggling with something at your new job and your boss comes at you in full-on, Anal Annie “test mode” and you silently and proudly accept said challenge and conquer it LIKE A BOSS!?

Well, that didn’t happen.

You Might be a B* but GRRRL, Don’t Ever Change!

To be 100% honest, I really miss logging onto WordPress and just pouring my angsty little heart out about all the morons threatening to eat my soul alive. You remember them, right? – The ones who were tragically, hilariously and intrinsically linked to my ability to earn a paycheck each week? It was mentally exhausting yet it gave my extracurricular life meaning.

Crap Queen

I think one of the nurses I work with could be a racist. She might definitely be one, I’m just loathe to come right out and say it because I’m kinda loving my job right now. I want an opportunity to learn more before assuming what a (maybe) 30-y-o jaded, burnt out nurse might mean by what I perceived as an insensitive, racist statement. And by “before assuming”, I mean knock that bitch out because she’s a dirty racist…

*BlanksGiving*

How are you all doing? Good. I’m not quite sure how I got myself stuck in this two-fer holiday nightmare but it’s giving me a case of the What-the-Fucks!…

For one – back in August at the end of my father-in-law’s 75th birthday celebration I gave myself a present and outright refused the favor of watching his pissy little shit… I mean, his sweet little shih tzu who is prone to excited fits of incontinence, over the Christmas weekend. I was all proud of my standing firm and tall in the Land of Nope – which is my sweet spot in times like this.

Soooo, Where Was I…?

More accurately, where AM I these days you might be wondering.

Since my last post I’ve switched over to my new digs over at the agency Medical Center. Working every day with at least 5 nurses, 3 nurse’s aides and a physician twice a week can be really exciting. Getting to interact with the children we serve is even more endorphin-inducing than I ever imagined. 

WHO DAT!? May it NOT be the Guy Selling Beads on Decatur Street…

Copyright L. Vidal 2015

Before I transferred to my new job, hubby and I took a well-earned short vacation. We went to New Orleans for all of 3 glorious days on airline miles and a Groupon deal. We made a point of walking around for a minimum of 4-6 hours a day to see/eat/drink/do as much as possible. We walked so much, in fact, that I could have eaten pretty much anything I wanted, calorie-wise. Not to mention we pretty much got the hookup on free and discounted food from various coincidences, aka errors made in our favor.

Well, Toss My Fruit Salad! …No, REALLY.

So it looks like I’m getting lazy with posting these days. Honestly, it’s not so much laziness as hella-FRICKIN’-BUSY! The past few weeks have seen me trying my best to wrap things up in the Accounting Office so as not to give any of THEM a chance to say, “Well, she left this… and she didn’t do THAT, so we had to blah blah blah blah… That bitch!” Nope – none of that.

There are tales to tell!

As of this past Friday I am officially done. Technically, the week of September 13th was my absolute LAST week doing anything angst or accounting-related. BUT – hubby and I took a much-needed and well-deserved vacation so my “last week” was basically one day. Friday, of all days. (*More on mini-vacay in the next post but here’s a brief preview thumbnail →)

IIIIIIIII Want “CANDY!”

**WARNING: This post contains gratuitous euphemisms which may or may not be poorly articulated, shamelessly and overtly obvious and ridiculously pun-intended-in-all-ways-imaginable.

*Air-quotes are implicitly expressed. *By continuing to scroll and read you agree that any injuries resulting from excessive eye-rolling are the sole fault of the reader.

This is something I’ve been wanting to talk about for a while. Fear of over-sharing and potential hurt to those close to me were the reasons for holding back but I think I’ve found a way around that.

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IIIIIII’m MOVINOUT!!

Festive, isn’t it? And somewhat appropriate for basically this entire existence.

Last time we met here, I was at my wit’s end; struggling to maintain a smiling, jolly-admin’s façade without so much as a hairline crack in the glaze while trying to make a silk purse out of a Jar Jar Bitch’s ear while piercing that ear with a rusty paperclip.  Well, I am officially DONE.

Keep it Movin’…

So this is what happens when you, stupidly, break a promise to a friend… except at the time this was written we technically weren’t friends.  Either way, it was a shitty thing to do (and probably an awkward read for you guys). I promise to never do this kind of thing again.  Friends deserve better.

MOVING ON…

Banish – a pic-poem

Deed to Doghouse With a Catfood Pantry

Last week was one of definitive FUCKED-UPPEDNESS (work with me, people; I’m in a “state”).

First off, one of 2 internal jobs I applied for turned me down. 😦  I’m happy for the person who got it since she’s genuinely awesome.  But on a selfish note, it kinda sucks for me. Again. Rejection sucks; even if you’re realistic in your expectations…